When you feel you've been integrated and accepted, you're hanging out with friends and having a good time, there's a huge probability something really simple related to how our external environment is organized is going to happen, and that will automatically make you hop off your cloud and go straight to hell. Alone.
It might be an activity you can't perform well enough, the speed you're able to move around, aesthetic considerations from people inside or outside your inner social circle, or the awareness about the cumulative effect of all that over your life so far and beyond.
The world is too large, and the external environment that causes this asymmetry appears to be just too resistant, too hard to change. Especially when most people around don't even see what might be possibly wrong with it.
Automatic thought that pops up in the disabled person's mind? Wouldn't it be much easier if I just wasn't here? Everybody is happy in this situation except for me. So why the hell is someone going to change anything, ever?
I must confess although I know this is unfair, and not the truth about how the world really works, I still have this recurrent and automatic thought. And although I'm theoretically convinced things must change, something inside just wants me to disappear.
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