Saturday, August 2, 2014

Doesn't really matter

The more rational you try to be with this world, the less it makes any sense. All around you see worthless bad character people being promoted and praised by their well deserved success. I used to think this was obscene and so unfair. But sometimes I'd hear wise people saying "son, it doesn't matter". And that would usually make me particularly angry and upset as if they were also validating this pointless reality. I'd think the world was so screwed that I wanted it to blow up in a huge atomic explosion. Then some signs those wise people were right would come up every now and then.

There's a wonderful girl in my office. She must be 10 years younger than me and yet she has such an amazing feline gaze which is so intense it commands respect even from the most spoiled and obnoxious corporate people. She won't do that aggressively. She's beautiful, and kind and polite. Always on the run to make us experience this surreally perfect office environment that Google is famous for.

Her dedication is astonishing and her efficiency is truly remarkable. If you look her in the eyes while she's taking care of her work you'll have the impression she's on the most important mission ever. That makes her look impeccably elegant as a black panther, no matter what she wears. Of course she's ridiculously attractive. And I always like to meditate about this natural effortless magnetism some people have. I think about all the odds in the Universe and I keep asking the same question: why?

This is the same "why" that comes to mind when you see the sunset at the beach, or the snow flakes falling for the first time. Like a 4 year old child discovering the world and trying to make sense of it by asking why, over and over. But also like you ask yourself when driving by a bunch of people smoking crack at 8 am ostensively, everyday. Just across the street from another million dollars apartment building in this crazy city.

It can be really tempting to explain all that with morals on Facebook. It's the most common approach to reality ever. So crack smokers are bad, and ugly and worthless people. But bankers are great, high achieving fantastic human beings in their brand new german coupés. Especially the ones really high in the corporate ladder.

Today that beautiful girl came to me, at the perfectly prepared office happy-hour and pointing to the other kitchen employees, usually hidden somewhere in the back, she proudly said, with such dignity and deference it made me speechless for a moment: you see, you don't see them, but these are the people that prepare your food everyday. She said that with that 20 something years old smile on her face, as someone that reveals a secret magic trick, just for me. And although these folks in the back are poor, as it's the case with most kitchen workers everywhere, I was the one truly humbled. I wanted to thank them both for invisibly and yet tenderly caring for me every single day. And I wanted to thank the young panther for gently making me see that with a playful sincere smile on her face, so I could put a red carpet in my imagination for all these kitchen workers to walk by.

I was just looking at them in thankful silence. Then my mind wondered about nasty people getting promoted and rewarded and accumulating stuff they don't really need while praising themselves with worldly merits, implying their luck and privilege is really something they deserve and the kitchen folks don't.

In fact I still feel that doesn't really make any sense. However, in my mind I heard a loud and clear voice saying: son, it doesn't matter indeed.

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