Again the old ambiguity. Can we get actually real?
This is a brilliant video about that particular end of the spectrum on how to conceptualise disabled people. Here we're probably looking at the good and warm hearted part of the so called "normal" population. But hopefully this video will clarify this is not adequate or positive either. This is like a soft form of exclusion. It probably feels a bit less worse and cruel, but it's still far away from good.
Let's try to separate things. If the society makes it extremely hard for a disabled person to perform well in the normal material standards - like money and accomplishment, it won't get any better for this person to be considered an angel, or pure, or anything like that. Yes, it is much harder to live with a disability and statistics show clearly that there are huge economic costs associated to that hardship (even when it's very difficult to dimension it). But what disabled people need is you guys to help reducing the barriers, not turning them into something cute or noble.
In 2012, I was engaged in researching the cost of disabilities in Brazil for half a year. And the more I'd study the methodology we were using at the time, the more I'd realize that approach was completely pointless for some one with my particular disability. Why? Because all the aids we were assessing and pricing that can be used for making the life of other different disabled people better are completely useless for me. And still, by being part-time employed in that very research project was a very good sign of the cost of the disability in my life.
It's not that the work wasn't good, or if it was especially badly paid. It's just that this wasn't my choice in terms of career. I've studied business, and even though I don't agree with lots of principles in capitalism and corporate world, that's what I was trained to do. As for most of my University colleagues, I speak several foreign languages, I went to the best University in the country, I have international experience and I've been an intern at very reputable places. Plus I have a high level of general culture and maybe even higher level of intelligence.
So why do I make 70-75% less money than my average classmate? Some people will tell me we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, especially in a world of inequality. And of course this observation doesn't make me happy. But the weird thing is that, accepting that fact is much less painful than thinking about what I've been doing wrong for all these years.
My invitation to my abled bodied friends is then the following: please don't think about me as an overcomer, a natural in these inspirational affairs. That doesn't do any good for the fact I've got disadvantages in almost every field of my life. Instead, try to work with me to understand these disadvantages on a deeper level and reduce them the best you can.
I must say perception is one of the key sources of these disadvantages in my case. So spreading the word in the right direction will some day allow me to lead a life that's more similar to yours. Not because I'm a professional overcomer. But because I'm clever, educated, polite and kind, and in a world that doesn't treat me badly (or inadequately, even with good intentions) all will come natural as our relationship has become. Not only for me. But for everyone.
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